Lessons from the Garden

I have been learning a lot about gardening the last few months. To put it mildly, I've been a little consumed. The smart thing to do would have been to start slowly. You know, like get a couple of bulbs and see how that goes, but in true fashion to myself, I got the bulbs along with around 3,000 seeds. Getting the bulbs figured out, taken care of, and growing has been an endeavor, but, they are blooming and in a most beautiful fashion. I have had so much joy watching them grow and bloom. It has truly been a place where God has brought beauty and joy in abundance.

The seeds, on the other hand, are another story. Never again do I want to seed start 3,000 seeds. There are also so many things that can go wrong with seeds. Which has lovingly been casting a spotlight on my desire to control. You see, I have put a lot of time and effort in to planting these, and I want them to do what they are supposed to. I did the 1+1. Now, I should be getting 2, but so far, nothing. My sun room in filled with trays of dirt, that contain seeds, but no sprouts. So, the questions have started. Did I give them enough water? Did I put them in a place with enough sun? Are they too cold? Are they too warm? Did I plant them right? Is there a way to plant them right? And so, the questions circle my mind. Really, they point back to the main question - Did I do my part right?
Somewhere along the way, I started believing if I do my part, then whoever or whatever should do its part as well.

Too often, I apply this logic to God. "Ok God, I did my part. I read my Bible, I pray everyday, and I serve faithfully at the church I regularly attend, so why haven't you done your part? Why haven't you shown up in the places that I need you to? Why have you not fulfilled your promises?"These are painful questions to ask, and questions we don't really want to ask. When we look at the empty seed trays of our lives, no one wants to wonder about how involved God is in their life. No one wants to think about God not "doing His part," so we do the next best thing. We blame ourselves. We try harder, hoping that if we enter 1+1 into the calculator enough times it will finally spit out a 2 for us because the terrifying fact that the 2 may never come is too much to bear.

The last few months with these seeds and this garden, God has used. He uses it daily to remind me about this deeply flawed way of viewing the world. He reminds me that life is not a math equation. Life is about faith, faith to believe that He knows my needs and when to meet those. It is about hope, hope to believe that He has already done the math, and in His kingdom, it comes out to a 2 every time. It is about me trusting my Creator even when there appears to be no 2 in sight, because just like seeds there is often far more going on than I can see.

So, I wait. I wait with hopeful expectation that these seeds that I have planted have all they need to grow and become what they were made to be. I wait in faith knowing that a seed's one job is to grow. I wait in trust holding on to the truth that just because I did 1+1 does not mean that I will get a 2, but my God sees me and knows exactly what He is doing.

The funny thing about seeds and flowers is that they do not think about growing or blooming. They just face the sun and let God do the rest.