Creativity and Comparison

I think the quote goes something like, “Comparison is the thief of all joy.” It’s from Theodore Roosevelt. While I completely agree, I would also argue that comparison is the killer of creativity. If I am being honest, I felt the call to start writing several months ago. Instead of listening to the voice within that was telling me to start this journey, I chose to listen to all of the reasons I have no business attempting to write, comparison being the main one.

I have always been notorious about comparing myself to others. In school, it was grades, looks, athletic ability (or lack there of). As an adult, it has morphed more into comparing my work, still looks, friendships, how much I am serving, and pretty much just about anything you can think of. The really sticky side of comparison is that it can quickly lead to judgement of others and myself. And, as the saying goes, I am my own worst critic. For a few months, I let the lies of "I'm not good enough" and "I have nothing to offer" keep me silent and from stepping into a place where God was calling me. I looked around my life and social media outlets at the people that might be reading what I wrote, and I kept talking myself out of it. Partly, writing or creativity of any kind takes vulnerability and courage, and I did not know if I was ready to share what was going on in my life in such a public way. I also looked at my friends, several of whom read this blog, knowing that their writing abilities far outshine mine. They are writers, editors, and hold actual degrees in writing. Their work is amazing, and so are they. That part inside of me kept telling me that I would never be as good as they are, so why try.

The Lord kindly pushed me past those beliefs, showing me that what I have to offer, however imperfect, may be just what someone needs, someone that no one else could reach. He also reminded me that this story, my story, anything I write, is not mine; it is all His. "If I call you to write, it is to tell my story." I was also reminded of this idea at the Captivating retreat. They were talking about the idea of how we all want to have an irreplaceable role in this world, how we all somewhere inside have the desire for our lives and what we do to matter. Comparison was brought up and how it robs us of our ability to see what we do have to contribute. The speaker then used an illustration that has stuck with me. She shared that each of our circumstances and histories leave marks on us, marks unique to who we are that no one else will ever have, and those marks are the lenses through which we see the world. Because we all have different lenses, we each see the world in different ways. Like, if you could only see close up and I could only see far away, it would take each of us working together to bring about the full picture. I loved that thought because it reminded me that what I have to say and contribute in all areas of my life, writing, creating, counseling, serving, bring pieces to the picture that only I can contribute. When I am living into my irreplaceable role, I am bringing to this hurting world just what it needs.

So, my challenge to you, friend, is to figure out what you feel your heart calling you to do, more importantly, God calling you to do. (Side note: If that "calling" falls into the category of God says it's a bad idea in the Bible, then reevaluate that.) Take the time to sort that out, talk it through with God, family, and close friends. Then, do not let comparison stand in your way. Do not let it silence you any longer. This world needs what you have to bring to the table, even if it isn't the best or most shiny. We still need it and you. So, for now, I will continue to write, to share the story I am living in all of its imperfection because the story I am living and writing is His, and if He has called me to write, it is to tell His story.