I’m Not Done Yet

This past weekend, was far busier than I had envisioned when I originally looked at the week to come. On Wednesday, an old friend messaged me telling me that she was going to be in town because she was having to evacuate from her university due to hurricane Florence. She was going to be staying with some other friends of ours, and we decided to try to get together. That turned into her staying with me Saturday evening through Monday evening, and it was wonderful. I played tourist in my own city, which I have probably never done, and we got lots of time driving around to chat and catch up.

While any weekend to catch up with an old friend is a special gift, this weekend was more than that. You see, my friend and I met 9 1/2 years ago when I was on my first of many mission trips to the island of Saba. She was in fifth grade and the class I was assigned for the week. We connected that year and tried to catch up every year for the 7 years that I went on that trip. She was also one of the first ones to reach out to me after my diagnosis with Type 1 Diabetes because she too has it. I loved each and every trip to this island that secured a deep place for itself in my heart. More importantly, I loved the people, who became like family, over the years I went. When the day came that I was unable to go back, I was heartbroken. I had poured much of my heart and life into a place and people, that suddenly seemed like I was never going to see again. While social media is beautiful in giving us the ability to stay in contact with people near and far, it does not make up for the face to face conversations. So, for the past few years, I have watched lives play out online, thinking of and praying for the people I loved and working to make peace with my days on that trip being done. God had closed the door. Or so I thought. When I got to host my friend this past weekend, spend time with her, continue conversations that were started almost 10 years ago, I realized that God was not done. While I may never go back to Saba, God is still not done in that story, even when the door looked shut.

I'll be honest, this year has not gone as I expected. I truly believed I heard God saying that my life would be going a certain way, and well, life did not go that way. My heart hurts, and in the pain, I've been asking, "Where are you, God?" and "What on earth are you doing?" As I have sat and tried to listen for His voice, I keep hearing the phrase, "I'm not done yet." I don't know specifically what it is going to mean or how any of this is going to turn out, but what I was reminded of this weekend is that God is not done with any situation until He determines it is time to move on. I never would have foreseen this weekend coming, but what a beautiful gift it was. I thought the door on those days of my life was shut, but God knew He wasn't done. He's not done in this part of my story either. The door may feel closed to me, but if He has said He is not done, then I will choose to believe He is not done, and I will hold hope for what is to come, knowing that it is going to be far better than I can ask or imagine.